SASHA EASTERLY
Strength: ★★☆☆☆
Dexterity: ★★★☆☆
Stamina: ★★★☆☆
Intelligence: ★★★★☆
Wisdom: ★★☆☆☆
Charisma: ★★★★★
would survive in an apocalypse: as a morale-boosting jester bard, winning allies by being a genuinely likeable person that people might not need but sure do want to have around
would get embarrassingly killed by: the consequences of having alarmingly negligible amounts of impulse control
would drop post-death loot: pink hair dye (common), tab of acid (rare), vintage electric guitar (special)
stance on clone-fucking: she absolutely would, and thinks anyone who wouldn’t fuck their own clone must be either not that fond of sex or a repressed idiot, because come on, even if you were a full munter, it’d still be a mind-blowingly more advanced form of masturbation that you’d be a fool to forgo, right?
songcalls: Stacy’s Mom - Fountains of Wayne / This Hell - Rina Sawayama
KILLIAN VARMA
Strength: ★★★☆☆
Dexterity: ★★★★☆
Stamina: ★★★★★
Intelligence: ★★★★☆
Wisdom: ★★★☆☆
Charisma: ★★☆☆☆
would survive in an apocalypse: partly because he has magic powers and practical survival skills, but primarily because his ability and willingness to suffer/withstand pain is impressive to the point that it’s borderline upsetting
would get embarrassingly killed by: being betrayed by someone he thought he could trust but really shouldn’t have
would drop post-death loot: drumsticks (common), bespoke leather lace-up boots (rare), enchanted dagger (special)
stance on clone-fucking: well, he doesn’t think he’s that hot, and on top of that, to fuck a version of himself seems like the most cursed way to commit the sin of pride/ultimate douchebaggery, and on top of that there’s the layers of self-loathing … and then there’s what he might do if particularly lonely, inebriated, and/or self-actualised.
songcalls: Like A Prayer - Madonna / Apart Together - Tim Minchin
RAE ZHANG
Strength: ★★★★★
Dexterity: ★★★★★
Stamina: ★★★★☆
Intelligence: ★★★★★
Wisdom: ★★★☆☆
Charisma: ★★★★☆
would survive in an apocalypse: so long as there were humans around, alive and kicking and full of blood
would get embarrassingly killed by: one of her own defensive curses that she set up and then forgot about. and/or a vengeful lover.
would drop post-death loot: vodka shot (common), gold nugget (rare), a page of Liszt’s original sheet music (special)
stance on clone-fucking: she’d rather fuck someone else, but certainly wouldn’t pass up the opportunity for the sheer novelty (or at least boredom relief)
songcalls: Emanuela - Fettes Brot / Toxic Valentine - All Time Low
Keep reading to unlock more abilities and more characters!